so long sweet summer...

summer is quickly melting away and i desperately want to hold onto it. this is how it always is, isn't it? my life is broken up into 4 month increments. semesters and summers, each like a different little life i get to live and i am so blessed to have so much opportunity, but with more opportunity comes more responsibility. and more people. its like some kind of cruel joke-- you go somewhere and meet amazing people and then you have to leave them. "a thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars..." it's so idealistic. and i hate that this world is full of temporary. and i hate that people have to move away and i have to move away and when that happens relationships change. and i know they change even when you stay in one place, but i wish so desperately that i was in a place in my life that i could just commit to someone and something and be fully present there. maybe i'm kidding myself about that. i'll probably always be looking forward to something else.

i know the whole "steadfast is the love of the Lord" thing. i really do. He is the constant that we are to hold onto in this world. He is everything that we need. He sustains us. i know these things. it's just so hard sometimes. the world beckons me and me emotions overtake me and everything is muddled. yesterday i hated everything and i "knew" i needed to leave this place. and today i want to stay. and i know that God is going to bless me regardless because He is good, but i want to make an informed prayerful decision too. i don't just want to live haphazardly. people tell me that i can do it-- that i will be okay and that i don't eff up my life as much as i think i do, but it really doesn't feel like it sometimes. especially not today.

post-college has been a royal suck so far. welcome to real life. someone please tell me it won't always be this way.

class division in america

so, awhile back chris told me about this article depicting the differences in people flocking to myspace and facebook. i finally just got around to reading the article, and i think its probably worth your time; not because its saying something you didn't already know, but more so because it puts words around something that you've always suspected. its kind of long, but i think its worth reading the whole thing.

"july, july...."

seen on a threadless t-shirt at pitchfork music festival on saturday:

"i listen to bands that don't even exist yet."

perfect.
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in other news, continuing on with my "good free music week", the decemberists are playing for free in grant park on wednesday with the grant park symphony orchestra. sweet. it's gonna be a party on the 4:57 (hopefully) train into the city.

i can see my beautiful rescue

an update.

so far today i've eaten two meals and i've eaten them both outside because its g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s today.

i am getting a haircut tomorrow.

i have a new macbook and i currently have a love-hate relationship with it. mostly love though. and once i figure out how to use it it will be only love, i'm sure. her name is delilah. this brings my girly gadget family to margot, dorothy, delilah, and persephone (my ipod). now i need to name my camera.... any suggestions?

i listened to my ipod on my bike ride to work this morning, just because i could.

ice cream sucks when it melts and then its refrozen and you try to eat it.

yesterday was karisa's birthday. happy birthday, k-ra. we went to the melting pot and i've never had better fondue in my whole life.

i don't know where i'm living after august 3rd. maybe you can convince me to stay in chicago: go ahead and try. i dare you.

i closed my CPO box today, so if you want to mail me something, you can't send it there. e-mail me and ask me if you need to send me something.

its fun playing house, except when you have a psycho cat.

i have to go get paid to watch children now.

i've been jumping from the tops of buildings...

today i successfully mowed my first lawn. ever. impressed? i know i am.

just me and some people i like

we don't get out very much

i feel like every day i'm forced to push forward through my daily activities and i'm not given time to reflect on what just happened. it's very frustrating. i just want to pause for a moment and think about what's going on with my life without remembering 10 people that i was supposed to call or that i forgot to feed the cat or that i have to be up in a few hours for work. i want to bake and practice recipes or write in my journal or read or be still and know that you are God........when does one find the time to do these things?

i'd love to write more, but i'm about to make myself late for work.