happy birthday kevin!

today is my brother kevin's 31st birthday. happy birthday kevin!

san francisco, part 2

david and i have been friends for about 4 years now. we met way back when i was working at a hostel in spain and he was walking the Camino. we have kept in contact here and there over the last few years, but never really hung out since returning to the states. my trip up to SF was kind of impulsive. i wanted to visit the city; get out of orange county to a new place for awhile.

it was a fun weekend. david went to yale and now works at google, so most of the weekend was spent around quirky, intellectual types. we had some really good conversations surrounding purpose and searching. we hiked all day sunday along the california coast debating evolution and the existence of God. we discussed the Trinity and Jesus being fully God and the words of the apostle Paul-- if it turns out that Christians are wrong, we are the most to be pitied. it's been a long time since i've really discussed my faith intellectually with someone else who doesn't believe the things that i believe. i realized how very out of practice i am, compared to where i was 4 years ago when we first met.

something about the human condition was reiterated in my mind this weekend-- no matter how smart we are, how "good" our jobs are, how much stuff we acquire-- we are all searching for purpose in this world outside of ourselves. something more fulfilling than work or money or possessions. we both have good, secure jobs. good future prospects. good relationships and housing situations and nice things. david and i echoed very similar desires through completely different world views: limit ourselves to very few possessions and find something more in this world than jobs or status or money. we want to pursue knowledge-- me through grad school and relationships, and david through packing up his car and driving to new lands to meet new people and see new things.

i recognize this desire as longing for a perfect relationship with a perfect God and doing everything i can to pursue that this side of heaven. david doesn't see it that way, but still longs for some kind of purpose beyond himself.

i'm glad that God brings certain people into your life at certain times. david was introduced into my life several years ago in passing, and i never thought that 4 years later we'd both be in california and i'd be buying a plane ticket to visit when i needed to get away. when i needed to have my ideas challenged and be reminded that there is more to this world than first meets the eyes.

there are many unfinished thoughts here. things that still need to be fleshed out. i'll save those thoughts for another day or night.

everything starts where it ends

january 20, 2009

today was fully of new beginnings. i got to work at 7 and the inauguration coverage was streaming on the monitor in the conference room. i watched for awhile as they prepared to swear in the nation's first black president. i was cautiously optimistic. i say cautiously for a couple of reasons: first, because this nation is in a pretty sad state and change will not happen overnight, and second because i don't believe that barack obama is the "hope" that this nation ultimately needs because the government is composed of men who are inevitably flawed. however, i was excited for a new era and what change may come out of it. but i digress.

i turned on my computer and checked my email to find that two of my best friends, bonnie and trevor, had a baby girl at 2am. 6 pounds, 1 ounce, 20 some odd inches long. little eleanor sage will probably not ever fully understand the historic day that she entered this world. i've only been this excited for one other baby-- my niece, claire. i talked to bonnie for a few minutes this morning and she was doing well. relatively easy labor and was feeling good.

the rest of the day was a bit of a daze. i was pretty sick, so i spent most of the afternoon on the couch in my PJs watching 30rock and doing Mika work. I left the house for awhile this evening and ended up having a conversation with a woman who told me that "change is possible." she wasn't speaking about politics or friends; rather, she was speaking into my own life. it's possible to get out of a routine and live life to its fullest. it's possible to let people in and keep them there. it was a beautiful conversation.

i need to be in this moment. i need to remember this day. change has come to america. new life has entered this world. true Hope renewed itself in my heart.

san francisco, part 1

so, i'm in san francisco for the weekend visiting a friend i met way back in the day in Spain. unfortunately, i forgot my camera because i'm ridiculous, but it's just as well because i've been thinking a lot recently how i want to start using film again. so not only am i using film, but i am using DISPOSABLE CAMERAS! yeah. you heard me right. i love it, but i can't use them after dark. we also didn't get me a camera until after we walked around the japanese tea gardens and drove the scenic loop around the city and touched coit tower. :(

either way, i took a couple pictures with my phone today when we walked around china town. here they are for your viewing pleasure:





china town is funny. more to follow.

claire

i know that she has a whole other blog dedicated to her, but i love her so much i can't even handle it.

up on a mountain

if you haven't yet checked out the welcome wagon, i highly recommend them. their album was produced by sufjan stevens and it's pretty obvious throughout all the songs, which automatically makes them awesome.

Up in the heavens our Lord prays for you
He sent his spirit to carry us through
So it’s true that you’re not alone
Do you know He came all the way down?

So it’s true that you’re not alone
Do you know He came all the way down?

i'm buying this when it's released.

the digital polaroid camera.

"pupusas" or "how i'm constantly being challenged by my own convictions"

Earlier in the week, Erwin, the pastor of El Camino, called me and invited me to "Christmas, Carols, and Cocoa", the church's attempt at gathering some of the neighbors to Lydia's house to meet them and tell them the Christmas story. Lydia lived in Baker and was very active in El Camino; I'd spoken to her a few times, but this was the first time I would be spending any substantial time in her house.

It happened that their neighborhood party was the same day as the Mika Christmas Store, -- one of the biggest, longest Mika events of the year-- so when I arrived at Lydia's house, I had already worked a 10 hour shift on 5 hours of sleep after surviving an incredibly hard week for me personally. I wasn't thrilled about having to leave the Store and return an hour later to spend the rest of my night cleaning, but I went anyway.

I walked in right at 5pm and was greeted with the smells of beans, rice, and fried tortillas. Erwin sat me down with a plate full of food and an excited look on his face and said, "Michaela" (my Spanish name), "we would be honored if you would read the Christmas story to the children. The story is in English and the kids will respond to you." I knew they had wanted me there to talk to some of the neighbors, but I didn't realize I would be heading up the activity that was the central purpose of gathering the neighbors together.

Because I had to get back to the Christmas Store within the hour, I hardly had time to think about it. Immediately after we finished eating, we went outside in the back alley behind the apartments where all the chairs and the nativity scene were set up. I was introduced to a few families and sat down in a chair in front of a group of 20-30 people. I was handed a microphone, a book, and a bag of prizes-- to give to the kids after they correctly answered my questions about the story. All the children in the crowd gathered at my feet, and I stared back at them as they waited to hear what this white girl that couldn't communicate with most of the crowd could possibly have to say.

And then I read. I could hear my voice projecting through the speakers down the alley and into the apartments. Most of the kids, still too young to go to school and learn English, had no idea what was happening. They fidgeted a lot and occasionally looked up at me to see the pictures. After I finished the story, I had to come up with questions about what I just read. "Who told Mary she was going to have a baby?" Silence. "God", one child quietly answered. "Well, technically, yes...but..." I trailed off. "Okay, how about another question..Why do we celebrate Christmas?" I asked. "God," another child answered. (Apparently your Sunday school teacher was right when they said that God is the answer to everything.) After what seemed like hours, we were finally able to coax the kids into giving the right answers and gave away all the prizes. A wave of relief came over me and the neighbors clapped and cheered for me.

Before I left, I sat at the sidelines to take it all in. Neighbors went and got food. Kids ran around and looked at the nativity scene. People smiled at me and I smiled back at them. I had left the comfort of my behind-the-scenes job at the Store with the rest of the Mika staff to stand in front of a crowd of native Spanish speakers who I hardly knew. They had invited me-- insisting that I re-arrange my schedule so I could be there-- to put me in a leadership position in their community. I realized what an honor it was to be a trusted part of their lives although we have so little in common. However, that which we do have in common-- the desire to be in community despite our obvious differences-- brought us together. I was refreshed, and suddenly going back to finish cleaning the Christmas Store didn't seem so daunting.

i enjoyed church this week

Jesus, come and free us.
We are reaching out to You,
To heal us. Oh, come Lord Jesus.

--

Savior, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save.

Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

cliche

so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different.
so this is the new year, and i have no resolutions.

--death cab for cutie