how did i miss this?

san francisco banned plastic bags? i want to use compostable sacks.

well anyway, i stumbled across this as i was looking at these crafts you can make out of plastic bags. they're pretty much great. also, after i get better at sewing, i've decided to tackle knitting. i have seen too many sweet knitting projects in the last few days to not try....

2007 in review

i'm doing this more for me than for you.

january--
-rung in the new year at the sheely's beach house in cayukas.
-moved back to wheaton after living in chicago. met my 7 new roommates and my sweet room with 6 windows.
-margot show at schuba's where we took the funniest pictures ever with the band members

[new year's was an 80's party, but i wasn't really 80's, more so just ridiculous]

[my room with lots of windows. and my brother]

[the insane percussionist for margot]


february--
-detox diet: just drinking lemonade for 7 days makes me want to die. not eating on superbowl sunday makes me want to die, too.
-22nd birthday.
-the shins in milwaukee the day before my birthday.
-koreon BBQ with the old roomies for the multi-birthday celebration

[the first bite of food in 7 days, excluding Eucharist]

[the pre-party birthday dinner]

march--
-bonnie comes to california! week long spring break road trip starting in irvine and ending in san francisco.
-maria taylor at the beat kitchen

[malibu]

[my crazy family. this picture cracks me up]

april--
-first ever holy week at Rez for Easter
-last colored by numbers campus show (ever?)
-glee club banquet!
-turned in my final paper (43 glorious single spaced pages) for my senior seminar (personality psychology) and officially diagnosed myself as insane

[banquet]

[the final CBN campus show]

may--
-graduated from Wheaton college!
-got my wisdom teeth out
-road trip from California to Chicago with my mum
-began the summer of homelessness by moving into a room in the King's house for a month
-international mr. leather at the chicago theater

[mr. leather international]

[graduation]

[roadtrip to chicago]

june--
-road trip to tennessee with bonnie and trevor
-karisa and johnmark get hitched by the blue hole in the deep south
-printer's row book fair where i met the mcsweeney's folks
-the last colored by numbers show (ever?): CBN does the double door!
-NAKED BIKE RIDE (saw, not participated in)
-lula's
-roscoe village arts and music festival where we met SOMEONE STILL LOVES YOU, BORIS YELTSIN!
-moved into the foster's to house sit for 6 weeks with larry the insane cat
-travvy's going away party

[k-ra's bachelorette partayyy]

[the creepiest little town ever]

[cheers, travis]

[naked bike ride!]

july--
-fireworks downtown
-fireworks over lake ellyn
-game night at my house!
-jesse comes to visit from oregon!
-the decemberists' free show in grant park with the grant park symphony orchestra
-the freak rain storm after the show
-the last grant park symphony orchestra show for the summer
-delilah, my MACBOOK

[after the fireworks downtown]

[jesse visiting]

[one of the first pictures i took in photobooth on delilah]

august--
-moving onto laura and christy's couch
-oak tree itch mite epidemic
-michigan dunes for the girls' reunion
-margot in indianapolis to see them one last time before i left the midwest
-boston to visit benjamin
-move to irvine to sleep on my brother's floor

[being scared of indianapolis and the margot kids there]

[ben rey down the street from his house with the shoes hanging on the telephone lines in the background]

[my last night in wheaton]

september--
-started my new job at mindfireinc
-became a disneyland annual pass holder
-camping with the new life group
-moving into my first real life apartment/townhome/whatever you want to call it, thus ending the sleeping on other people's beds/floors/couches streak
-introduced to "how i met your mother"

[life group camping]

[my new room]

october--
-jimmy eat world at HOB
-dan comes to visit santa barbara
-taught my first english class at mika
-took my first spanish class at rock harbor

[dan in SB]

november--
-road trip to tucson, AZ to visit lindsey
-ben rey visits san diego
-hanson concert at the HOB
-LA fashion district/felt club

[tucson]

[ben rey in SD]

december--
-chicago!!!
-the return of plantar fasciitis
-roommate holiday card
-trip to the trinity broadcasting network headquarters
-company holiday party, which i planned entirely on my own, thank you very much.

[a close runner up to the picture we chose]

[in wheaton with bonnie and trevor]

[trinity broadcasting network headquarters]

well folks, there you have it. my year in review. what a crazy, crazy roller coaster this life is. i didn't realize how much i traveled this year until i put this together. seriously.

two reasons i like living in southern california

in the middle of winter

1) 69 cent avocados
2) 10 for $10 mangoes

although, what's with this cold front that came in? i got in my car this morning and it was 41 degrees outside. in the words of tim meadows (mr. duvall in mean girls), "i did not leave the south side for this!"

merry christmas

from our family to yours.

i made this, part 4

i'm pretty much in love with that random turquoise zipper. that's a little inside pocket. there's actually a smaller pocket on the other side as well that's about the size of a cell phone, but i don't have any pictures of it.


here i am modeling it...the strap is a little short. i am debating if i will fix this or not. thoughts?

i made this sweet purse on my brand spankin' new SEWING MACHINE! i don't have a picture of the machine yet, but i do have this picture of me opening it. christmas has pretty much happened already....

my dad looks so creepy in this picture.

all i want for Christmas

nataliedee

the trinity broadcasting network

tonight as my roommates and i were sitting around our living room doing our various nightly winding down activities, TBN came up in discussion. i was not aware of this until a few hours ago, but we live a mere few miles from the trinity broadcasting network headquarters. right here in costa mesa! right here in my backyard! anyway, they were telling tales of the spectacular lights they put up every year, and needless to say, we immediately decided to take a trip out there.

friends: it was everything i hoped it would be and more. so mercilessly gaudy. so fantastically bright. so incredibly terrible and beautiful. i loved it and hated it all at the same time. the only thing that would have made it complete is if we had seen that lady with the pink hair wandering the sidewalks spreading Christmas cheer.

here are a few of my favorite pictures








all the pretty lights... too bad some poor old midwestern woman is paying the electric bill with her life savings.

my feelings exactly

slowly but surely, i have been making my way through the book "why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?" by beverly daniel tatum. it's a really good book and i recommend that everyone stop by their local library and pick up a copy. or if you are especially ambitious, you can pick up a copy at a store and underline (i wish i could, but alas, mine is a library copy).

anyway, i read this one paragraph in the section "the development of white identity" and it resonated completely with the way i see myself and interact with those around me. to give you some context, she (the author, a professor that teaches psychology of racism) is talking about the phases that her white students go through as they come to realize that the world we live in is full of racism, and in particular, white privilege*. the following is a quote from one of her white male students who comes from an extremely privileged background.

i realized that it was possible to simply go through life totally oblivious to the entire situation or, even if one realizes it, one can totally repress it. it is easy to fade into the woodwork, run with the rest of society, and never have to deal with these problems. so many people i know from home are like this, they have simply accepted what society has taught them with little, if any, question. my father is a prime example of this...it has caused much friction in our relationship, and he often tells me as a father he has failed in raising me correctly. most of my high school friends will never have to deal with these issues and propagate them on to their own children. it's easy to see how the cycle continues. i don't think i could ever justify within myself simply turning my back on the problem. i finally realized that my position in all of these dominant groups gives me power to make change occur...it is an unfortunate result often though that i feel alienated from friends and family. it's often played off as a mere stage that i'm going through. i obviously can't tell if it's merely a stage, but i know they say this to take attention off the truth of what i'm saying. by belittling me, they take the power out of my argument. it's very depressing that being compassionate and considerate are seen as only phases that people go through. i don't want it to be a phase for me, but as obvious as this may sound, i look at my environment and often wonder how it will not be.

*to read a fantastic article about white privilege, follow the link to the article by peggy mcintosh, "white privilege: unpacking the invisible knapsack"

feist - 1,2,3,4

i think this is hilarious

men on a mission....it benefits charities!



mormons exposed.

"walking in a winter wonderland" or "death by icy sidewalks"

so, i am stranded in chicago right now. i just got a call from united telling me that due to the ice storm that is currently raging all around me, no flights are taking off this afternoon. awesome. guess i'm taking another day of vacation...

it's been an incredible weekend. everything i could have hoped for. i got to see old friends and make new ones. i just wish that i didn't have to leave it all again. i knew coming back was going to be a roller coaster of emotions, but i think that its all been worth it.

i kept thinking about how drastically my life has changed in the last 3 and a half months and i was afraid that i'd either be hit with the reality that friendships change and be really sad, or i would have an amazing weekend and wish that i was still here. i think i hit a weird balance between the two. some things have totally changed, but some things haven't changed at all. it was weird being a visitor in this city. i'm walking through snow today but i will go home tomorrow and be in the sunshine again. i don't live here anymore, and while i have plans to eventually come back, i DONT have anything solid that is causing me to return (school, work, etc.)

anyway, enough of the reflective contemplative stuff that people don't really care about. here are some stories/general information about my trip:

1. this post will have no pictures. you know why? BECAUSE MY STUPID CAMERA DELETED EVERY SINGLE PICTURE I TOOK. i have no idea how it happened, and i am very upset about it. i don't want to talk about it anymore.

2. noelle and i got into a snowball fight with some kids from lawndale. for those who don't know, she lives in the kedzie house. for those who don't know what that is, it is a house in lawndale, a poor neighborhood on the southwest side, full of people who want to live in community. they share food and cooking responsibilities and cleaning and stuff. everyone is really nice and i may move in there someday. maybe. i don't know. anyway, back to this snowball fight. it actually wasn't a fight at all-- it was a couple of teenagers seeing me and noelle sticking out like sore thumbs in the middle of a black neighborhood and throwing snowballs at us. it was kind of funny. we shouldn't have been wandering around after dark anyway though. but yeah, we wandered all around that crazy neighborhood and ate mexican bread from a bakery in little village and looked at curtains and i couldn't help but think about the time i spent there this past summer. i saw the neighbor kids on central park and smiled, but kept walking.

3. bonnie and i went to the walnut room in macy's on state street. we've done this every year for the past 5 years and it never gets old. the walnut room is this beautiful restaurant on the 7th floor of macy's with a 2 story tall christmas tree that is decorated with a theme every year. we wandered to the kris kindle market (a german christmas market in daley plaza) when we were finished and looked at all the wooden toys and beer and saw a wedding party taking pictures. i got in one of them.

4. jill and i went to the beat kitchen on saturday night to see the most serene republic. they were very very good live and i am glad we went. we've gone to the beat kitchen in december every year for the past 3 years. on my way to jill's apt in uptown, i stopped by starbucks and saw my favorite barista, patrick. he is still working there and he still gives me free stuff every time i go in. what a cool guy.

5. i fell flat on my face on an icy sidewalk. in my 4 years at wheaton, this never happened to me. i have never fallen on ice before in my life. my pride was hurt more than anything.

6. i am in the public library in wheaton and i accidentally walked into the guys bathroom. i got confused when i saw urinals and i promptly left and walked over to the women's. it was pretty funny.

i love this place. i love the people. i love the conversations. i can sit and have conversations about christianity and living simply and being in community and people get it. christianity that is not about politics or closed-minded intolerance or wearing a t-shirt with a slogan on it or white privilege. i talked with bonnie about challenging my faith and being scared to encounter Jesus. i talked with jill about what it meant to be single and express that in a healthy way. i talked with noelle about christianity and how it is not "right wing abortion and homosexuality are evil and the only issues" nor is it "left wing the environment and housing are the only issues": i cannot stress this enough. christianity is not about politics! and so many people seem to think that is. and i hate that. but i digress.

i went to church of the rez and i was rejuvenated by the singing and the dancing in the aisles and the community receiving the Eucharist. yeah, the church has its problems just like any other church-- but it was so good to be in a body that i feel so connected to, doing church like i believe it was meant to be done.

so anyway, i have been blessed with one more night with my best friends bonnie and trevor, and then it's back to reality in the morning. no more snow. no more ice. just sunshine and work and constantly pouring energy into getting people to understand who i am and what i am about. i don't want you to get me wrong: i love the people i have met in OC. i am making good friends and i am learning a lot. it's just sometimes nice to retreat to the place you feel you most identify with, even if that is never entirely possible this side of heaven.

you stay classy, chicago.

hope is so much closer to beauty than sorrow

so, as some of you know, one of my many tasks at my job at mindfireinc is to spearhead an initiative to establish a corporate philanthropic foundation. this is a sweet job, i'm not going to lie. i get to research all sorts of amazing organizations that need money from people like me. i don't have the resources to help said organizations, but i have (kind of) been given the power to direct someone else's resources to them. i kind of feel like robin hood-- stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.

here's the thing, though. i really don't like corporate america. at all. and right now i am editing the second draft of a document that is meant to explain to executive vice presidents and CEOs why donating time and money to community organizations is a good thing.

i wish it didn't have to be like this. i shouldn't have to explain to someone that makes $XXX,XXX a year that there are people out there who sleep on the street every night. that there's a racist world out there that denies people the opportunity to have a higher quality of life. that this world doesn't have to be a rat race and no one is ever actually going to win. i shouldn't have to bullshit about "studies have shown that altruism strengthens the section of the brain involved in higher thinking, particularly in social interactions, leading to more effective work with others." why does everything we do have to benefit our own selfish success? why cant we just help people for the sake of caring about others?

regardless, i write on. i am learning that you have to meet people where they are at. you have to take it in baby steps. you have to have hope that one day this world can be redeemed.

i just hope to God that i can remember this when i'm one day living on the other side of someone's charity.

recent

i went home for thanksgiving, and it was fall there!

this is in the front yard


and the side yard. that actually is in the neighbor's yard i think.


also, this is the only christmas decoration up and i think that's funny


here are jeff and i in some pretty sweet aprons! (jeff is my roommate emily's fiance)


there will be another "i made this" post up soon



i ran 10 miles today. it was freezing. around mile 8.5 (as i'm wearing shorts and am super sweaty with the wind blowing right in my face), someone's sprinklers came on and nailed me. it was awesome. and by awesome i mean terrible.